Stories

Common 1st Date Mistakes

Mar 03, 2012

First Dates are all about seeing whether or not you and the woman you’ve asked out are technically in sync or not. You might pay special attention to what you say and to see if any sparks fly over the dinner table. But don’t fall into the trap of letting your body language mess things up for you.

Pointing your feet away from her

When we like something, our bodies instinctively want to move closer to it. It happens subconsciously a lot of the time, but be aware of your feet. Are they pointing in her direction or at a hot girl at the bar or restaurant? Be sure that they’re facing the woman you’re on a date with.

Patting her during a hug

A hug at the end of the date is a great way to show her you want to touch her and women want to be touched. But don’t pat her on the back. Although this could happen when you feel a bit nervous or you don’t want her to think you’re jumping her. Always lean toward to her when you reach in, and if you don’t want to come on too strong, make it a short hug.

Moving too quickly

You might not realize that your body often mirrors your internal emotional world. If you’re feeling a bit nervous about the first date, it could be reflected in your body language, such as make fast movements while talking or eating. This first date body-language mistake tells her you’re nervous and maybe even insecure. The impression you want to make is that you’re calm, collected and confident. So become more aware of your body and try to slow down your movements. So try taking long breaths time to time.

Nodding too much

If you nod a lot while your date is speaking, she’s going to think you’re not really listening or you just want her to wrap up what she’s rambling on about so that you can take the stage again. Basically, it tells her you’re not interested in what she has to say. Of course, nodding a little bit can be good because it shows that you agree with certain things she says, but keep it to a minimum.

Speaking out of sync

Mirroring each other on a first date creates the impression of being on the same wavelength. Pay attention not only to what your bodies are doing but also to how your speech patterns match. If she speaks really fast and you’re more mellow, for example, it throws you out of sync. Try to match her, as this will make your conversation flow. Although you can’t fake a connection with someone, you can definitely enhance it by trying to get on their wavelength.

Crossing your arms

Maybe crossing your arms is just a stance you feel comfortable in, but it will make your date feel that you are literally closing yourself off from her. That’s never going to make her feel warm and fuzzy inside on a first date. Try to keep your arms extended or open as much as you can so that you show her you are willing to engage in conversation.

Invading her space

Sometimes instead of blocking yourself off from your date, you end up being a little too engaging. You might move too closely to her so that you’re breathing the same puff of air. Although you think she might have been flirting with you or sending you signals for you to move closer, it’s too soon. Plus, even if you’re charming and she’s showing interest, if you’re invading her personal space, you risk it being seen as an instant turnoff.

Fiddling around

Fiddling with objects or not being able to stay still could be seen as displaying nervousness, a lack of confidence or disinterest. She might even think that you’re just bored of her company and it’s causing you to shred those napkins. Try to remain still and focus on your date. Immerse yourself in the moment and show genuine interest. Keep still and don’t fiddle, so that your confidence speaks for itself.

Intense eye contact

Eye contact is always a must when it comes to displaying good body language on a date, but don’t think that this means you should laser into her eyes. Can you say creepy? It will make her uncomfortable or cause her to feel like she’s being scrutinized by you. Let your eyes meet across the candlelight — but not for longer than a few seconds so it’s not awkward. Do not turn her off with this first date body language mistake.

Touching her

Perhaps you’ve been laughing, enjoying some drinks and giving each other a lot of flirtatious looks, so it’s only natural to think that it’s OK to reach over and touch her. Don’t! You might be coming on a little too strongly for a first date, and she’ll likely assume that you’re only interested in her for sex. The only time it’s OK to touch her is if she touched you first, like if she has brushed your arm during a joke. In that case, she’s giving you the go-ahead and hoping you mirror her actions.

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